10 Stages of Bookshopping

A few weeks ago, whilst sorting through the assortment of A4 paper decorating the kitchen table, I unearthed a sheet where I had scribbled-down the heading '8 Stages of Bookshopping'. Having managed to now finish that draft, a little while later, I've now realised it takes more energy - and effort - than I first thought to take a trip to Waterstones! And I've also managed to find a few new stages whilst thinking about my own - regular - visits...

 

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STEP 1 - ATTEMPTING TO RESIST

 

The point in which, when walking down the street, your local bookstore appears up-ahead. With it's window-display decorated with new releases and the tables stacked high with bestsellers visible inside, it's a challenge to resist running straight through the doors and to the YA section. You stand outside for a while, attempting to move on, telling yourself that - under no circumstances - you're going to enter.

 

 You can't resist the temptation.

 

STEP 2 - SETTING THE BOUNDARIES

At this point, all readers tend to lay down the law of the trip inside, repeating a mantra over in their heads.

 

"Only for a few minutes..."

 

"Just to see whether they have the final book in that series..."

 

"No more than one..."

 

"As long as I have enough for everything else I'm meant to buy..."

 

Sound familiar? But, you never listen.

 

STEP 3 - TAKE IT ALL IN

 

The rows after rows of shelving that line the wall; the colourful covers that decorate the children's section; the collection of paperbacks and hardbacks. The scent of the coffee that drifts down from the café; the freshly printed-pages waiting to be turned; the air tainted by the leather-bound covers. The recommendations that are shared amongst friends; the discussions over series endings; the excited squeals as a much-anticipated sequel is found.

 

You are reminded of home.

STEP 4 - LET'S BE FRIENDS
 

Who can help but listen to the other conversations taking place? You catch snippets of sentences where your favourite books are mentioned, discussions about movie castings taking place between a group of friends friends, and it takes all of your self-perseverance to not interrupt. A stranger approaching would scare them. You hear mentions of a book you are yet to read, attempting to block out the conversation, not wanting the book to be ruined.  All you can do is pretend the art of distraction, listening from a distance, seemingly admiring a randomly-selected fantasy.

You want to ask whether you can be friends.

STEP 5 - IT'S A BALANCING ACT

Attempting to carry the choices you have made so far, that Game of Thrones box set threatening to break your back, still adding to your stack of books as you attempt to navigate the store. By this point, it's becoming a struggle to see where you are going. It's a form of weightlifting.

You agree that this counts as your workout for the day.
 

STEP 6- MAKING THE CUT

Somehow, the selection of a dozen novels you have made whilst browsing the store needs to be narrowed down to fit within your budget(which will never be enough to cover your book-buying obsession). You spend the time re-reading the blurbs, opening the books to random pages, admiring the covers. It's almost too painful to watch as you place those that are on your wish-list back on the shelves.

You recall it's similar to choosing a favourite child.

STEP 7 - FINAL DECISIONS

Avoiding the awkward glances from those around you, it is time to search through the stacks like some feral-animal on the hunt for the most 'perfect' copy to add to your collection. There can no broken spines; no bent pages; no marks on the cover. The book(s) you buy need to be spotless.

You can't help but be a perfectionist.

STEP 8 - OVERCOME WITH REGRET

Let's admit it: the promises that were made when walking through the doors are rarely kept. The likelihood is more time has been spent inside than anticipated, and there are a considerable number of books tucked under your arm - not just one. When you're head stops spinning from the excitement of all the book-buying, you come to terms with the amount of money that has been spent.

You realise your purse is almost empty - and are overcome with guilt.

STEP 9 - NEED TO RE-ENGERGISE

There's no excuse to not grab a brownie from the bookstore café on the way out. Or to collapse into one of the comfy seats for a while and read your new buys.

You are exhausted.

STEP 10 - PRIDE IN PURCHASES

Pictured: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn | We Are All Completely Beside
Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler

Would there be any extra 'stages' to your own - unplanned - bookstore visit?

Tell me in the comments!

Sophie
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